I was reading this How My New York Hypnosis Skills Saved Me From The Mob!
I just had an amazing, unplanned session this morning.
How My New York Hypnosis Skills Saved Me From The Mob!
Okay, it may be unscrupulous for some of you some of the things I did, but my only interest was in getting results and getting out with my life......and believe me, I was utilizing anyone tools and abilities at my disposal to accomplish those ends.
Just other Quiet Night Walking Home From Work!
I left work last night about 8 Pm and walked over to Mulberry street straight through the San Genaro Festival (It's known as 'The Feast' to locals).
The San Genaro Feast is New York City's biggest and longest running Italian street festival. Sausage, seafood, pastries and games of opportunity line 10 blocks on both sides of the street leaving about a 10' wide path where close to 100,000 population inch by, body-to-body, each evening.
Run Into My Aunt I Haven'T Seen In 5 Years..!!!
I ran into my aunt Joan from Staten Island and cousin whom I haven't seen in 5 years. She caught me checking out this woman who had a top on with not enough material to make a baby's sock out of, as if the heat from the sausage stands weren't enough.
My aunt had grown up in Greenwich hamlet and knew the streets of dinky Italy and its residents well as a kid. She was busy saying hugging and saying hello to population that she hadn't seen in over 40 years.
Street corner Guys, Armani Suits, The Life!!
Then she runs up to these three guys whom she attended Saint Anthony grammar school with (we're talking about turn of the century). They're in their late 50's or 60's.
These are guys who vaguely knew me over the years in passing on the street. They were all the time dressed in custom-tailored Armani suits (a thousand bucks a pop) which they wore as well as I'd slip into a pair of well-worn jeans.
If asked, these guys told population they were in Sanitation engineering or were Re-location specialists, but all those years, I never saw them to go off to a job or even get dirty for that matter.....
Of course, they all drove (or were driven in) the latest, fully adequate Lincolns or Cadillac. They wore lots of thick gold chains, finger rings, flashed wads of bills whenever picking up a newspaper and were all the time accompanied by guys who like bookends were equally well dressed, but had the look of human Pit Bulls.
My Aunt Has A Big Mouth!!! Well, the big guy asked me what I'm doing with my life.... And I well didn't want to tell them. I would feel great knowing I if these guys idea I was working as a cashier for a chain store. Then they wouldn't be seeing for favors. I wanted to be indiscernible at this moment. Then my aunt blurts out,
"He's a hypnotist!"
Boy, you should have seen the look I got.
Carmine, apparently the boss here, lifts his hand up to chest area and with his other hand, points to an empty space of air, like he's production a wisecrack:
"The Watch???", he says with a look that would set the profession back a century.
His guys with him laugh.
I said, "No, that's Hollywood. I deal with the usual stuff: Smoking, Weight Loss (I got a dinky nervous at saying this.
These guys weighed in at like 300 plus a piece At gunpoint, I couldn't get these guys to stop eating). You know, I deal with condition issues."
His eyes perked up. "What do you mean, condition issues?"
"Like Stress!"
He squints at me, face in mine, I can feel his breath, a long pause... He's whether thinking or his hemorrhoids just flared up,
"My mom has to have an operation tomorrow morning at St. Vincents. She's gotta cyst. It's in an out of the way place. She thinks she's gonna die. She's driving the whole weird family all nuts. I want you up there!"
I'M Put On The Spot!!! I Could Shoot My Aunt!!! Talk about being put on the spot. You just don't refuse guys.like this. They figure, you're from the neighborhood, you give respect. I said, "What do you want Me to do?"
"Hey, you said you do stress. She'S Stressed. We'll pick you up surface your apartment in the morning. Be Ready!! "
Forget Training!!! Now, despite my training, I'M Nervous. Italians are the only nationality I have strangeness hypnotizing. That's because they are Already Hypnotized. Italian women are perfect hypnotists. If something is going to go wrong, they'll repeat it to themselves a thousand times during the day. Italian males don't have to depend upon having a good memory. An Italian woman will emphatically remind them 1,000 times to take out the garbage. Even after you do take out the garbage, they'll keep asking you, "Did you take out the garbage!"
Doom and gloom, it's a lifestyle.
Check out my state. I have to hypnotize what I reconsider my worst horror - An Italian woman. I don't Believe I can do it. I don't believe it's possible.
I'm so nervous, At this point, I'm ready for a vocation change.
Door To Door service or Am I Going To A Funeral... Mine??? So this morning, they buzz my door. A white caddy is in front of my apartment.
"Get in kid!"
I get in, hey, it's plush velvet... I tell Carmine, there are clear conditions you have to do for me..
He says to me, 'Who do you think you are talking to?"
I well provoked him when I spat out the words:, "Do you Love Your Mother?"
Carmine grabbed me and I said, "If you love her, you'll do what I say For Her Sake!"
I explained to him... Simply... In the only language he could understand.
"As a hypnotist, I work with trust systems. Just like you do. You know, when person owes you money, why do they pay you? It's because they believe something bad might happen to them if they don't pay on time, Right?" (He shakes his head in agreement)
"Yea!"
"Well, your mom believes she's gonna die. "What do you think she's going to believe if you tell her I'm a hypnotist?" She'll think you just brought Satan to her funeral!"
I Know I Have To By-Pass Her critical Factor "I'll tell you Carmine. She's going to think you blew a gasket. Here's what we're going to do. (I'm sweating bullets. I must have left a small puddle on the back Caddy seat. I hope velour don't stain).
"You tell your mom you have a expert doctor, one of the top ones. Just came in from out of town. He's going to check your charts and going to come in to see you and do a special course on you!"
"Why should I lie to my mother?," Carmine barks at me
Like I'm pleading my case to a jury, I say with every emotion I can muster: "You want her to live, don't you? And on top of telling her I'm a doctor, I want you to tell her I'm an Ex-Priest and then, I want to be left Alone with her in the room for an hour.... Alone... Got it! No doctors come in! No nurse Comes In!
No You Come In!!!
Agreed?"
"Okay!"
So Much For Visiting Hours!! So we get to Saint Vincent's Hospital. No such thing as Visiting Hours with these guys. I grabbed the blue medical smock we keep in the hypnosis office when we canvass hypnosis out on the street and put it on. Carmine goes in the hidden room and sees his mom and explains what I told him, that an out-of-town physician coming in to oversee the operation. He stations these two well-dressed, bulldogs surface the room so I will have perfect privacy.
I say to one of the guys, "I need a stethoscope to make this look good!"
So this big hulk of a guy grabs a 90 lb. Passing orderly by his stethoscope, sticks his big face in the orderly's face and says, "We have to borrow this for a dinky while... Cabish??"
He hands me the stethoscope!
Acting 101... I Knew I Should Have Taken That Class!! Carmine comes out from his mother's hidden room. I take a deep breath and go in. I pick up the charts and let me tell you, I don't know a medical chart from a crossword puzzle. I look at it and say, "Hello Mrs. A............"
She says, "Hello Father!" She's seeing at me like the Lord has just paid her a personal visit. critical Factor bypass!
I say, "I'm no longer a priest. You can call me Dr. Petrocelli."
I look down at the chart and I mumble a lot. I have no clue as to what it says.
She's says, "Doctor, I'm going to die!"
I say, "Die??? From this chart, after this operation you'll be as healthy as a horse. The only way you could die is if this construction were to collapse on you! But I can see, from your attitude, its' not the strict attitude a physician likes his patients to have when going into surgery. We're going to do a dinky medical free time & stress release technique. I'm going to ask you to relax clear muscles and you're going to result my directions, Right??? (I'm being very forceful)
She says, "Yes doctor!"
So, I do a lot of hands on stuff, improvisational, rocking her head, having her relax it below my hands... Arm, the whole nine yards... More authoritarian then normal because with her trust principles believing that I'm Both A expert physician and a old priest, I have total 'critical bypass.' I Know It. I get total compliance.
Now I know she goes to church every day.... So after I do a medical type induction from some crumbled script I have in my back pocket which is well water-logged for the shear sweat coming off my body, I start the minister part of the induction:
I Hope God Has A Sense Of Of Funny Bone I grab the bed rails on the side of the bed and vibrate the bed furiously for result once I have her in trance (hey... I don't know if this works..... I'm just worrying if it doesn't):
"You will heal during this operation because it Is God'S Will! God demands you Not To Try to sabotage his efforts and to heal. It is God's will that this operation be successful, Not For You, but for your children. Your Grandchildren.
This is a very basic operation. Qualified medical is now spreading straight through your body.
The Holy Spirit now surrounds and envelops your body with God's love."
I mean it, this session should have been taped for Pbs. I'm loud and emotionally expensed once I've got her into trance and we're doing the work.. well Loud. I know she goes to church everyday. I know she fears God. I know her critical factor is bypassed and James Earl Jones would have been so proud he might have recruited me for a Verizon Ad.
The door to her hidden room opens a notch. Carmine looks in. I point, put my finger to my lips as if to say... "Shh" and sternly point at Carmine and move my lips " Out!!!"
I go on for an hour and a half. I called in legions of angels, medical cherubs, the holy spirit, used her family. Told her she would be committing the primary sin against God if she did not stay here, on this planet to take care of her family.
That God has been hearing her words against his will and now it is time to pay him heed.
Emerged!!! After about an hour and 15 minutes, I emerge her. I have her seeing right in my eye, still deep in trance, telling her that she'll soon be wheeled into the operating room where legions of angels are watching over her. The grace of God will encircle her wholly like a warm blanket. Her body will function perfectly. The medical processes will begin immediately. And then, it will be her job in accordance with divine will to take care of her family.
Sweat is riveting off my body. I'm thinking, if she dies during this operation, I'm going to end up as landfill.
Carmine, her son, opens the door. She points her finger and in a strong voice directed at him, get me into that operation. I have to get home. I have a family to take care of.
Carmine glances at me, like what happened in here.
Get Me Out Of Here!!! I can't wait to leave. I must have sweated 15 lbs. Off me. I don't want to be there. I don't care to be there. This isn't my bag. Call Jimmy Swaggart if you want a miracle.
I say to Carmine, "I've done my part. I'm leaving. Good luck with your mom. You don't owe me a thing. I want nothing. Bye. My pleasure!"
He says, 'Where are you going? You're going to sit here with us during the operation!"
I don't know if it was 3 1/2 hours we waited. It seemed like an eternity. I never knew so many gallons of bodily fluid could exit my body. I should have been a prune at this point.
Finally the physician comes in and talks to Carmine, I run up to ease drop. I hid the smock hours ago. I'm wondering if I should have given my neighbor and last will my apartment keys this morning. The physician says, "Everything went well, Mr. A...... Textbook case. Your mother's vital signs were amazingly strong throughout. No complications."
I'm thinking... Thank God.. Let. Me get out of here.
I say goodbye. I tell Carmine, never describe I wasn't a minister or physician to your mom.
I well have got to go. He gives me a big hug. I'm like a wet hanger-on dripping on his Armani, 'Give me your number!" I'm backing out the door. No, Carmine, you owe me nothing. I want nothing. reconsider it a favor from my aunt. Got to go.
Man... What a weird day. I just hope Mrs. A..... Heals the next few days and They Never Call Me Back! Yea, like...we do miracles in our work but these are the kind of guys that will Expect It.
And now that my day was shot, how was your day! I have Sleepwalkers meeting to run..... And I need a shower.
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