A Bully Free New Year

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We're one week into the New Year, one week past production those resolutions that most of us don't keep for a range of reasons. We quit production anyone changes we're looking to make too soon (Research shows that it takes twenty-one to twenty-eight days to build or break a habit) or we take on something we think we need to change but certainly don't want to change. holding resolutions is just not that easy.

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One resolution that I hope I hope many population will make this year despite the fact that we're already past New Year's Eve is to make 2011 a bully-free year. What? You're not a bully! Or are you without even realizing it? Some of us are and we're setting a very bad example around population who need it the most - our kids.

I've been working with teens most of my life and as any parent or instructor will tell you, kids don't do what we say, they do what we do. And many of us haven't been the best of role models lately.

Think of the up-to-date election. Politicians on both sides of the aisle spent their advertising dollars berating their opponent incessantly. Yes, I've heard the argument that playing nice doesn't win an election. But our children are watching and modeling what they see. All we have to do is observation the prevalence of bullying lately to see that they're exhibiting those same behaviors - often with catastrophic results.

We as adults realize that the political rhetoric is all part of the game, disturbing as it is at times. But teens, whose brains don't fully design until they're 21, aren't as capable of deciphering what's real and what's done for effect.

Which brings me to the Tv, movies and video games in their lives. Over the years these media forms have become more outrageous catering to the weakest part of humanity. I read a statistic in doing investigate this past year that said by the age of 12, children will have been exposed to 12,000 simulated murders. By age 21, they will have seen over a million commercials.

We can't change what's shown but we can choose what we watch especially in front of our kids. We also need to be aware of what they're watching so we can at least discuss the content, helping them to realize that just because something's on Tv or the internet, it doesn't have to be fact. It also isn't a true photograph of who we are as humans. We're much more than the news (News? Or the sharing of the ten worst things that happened yesterday?) and reality shows indicate. In up-to-date research, I found the statistic that for every negative event that happens, ten unavoidable ones do. But no one hears about them.

And then there's our behavior. Cursed at a driver lately? Said something unnecessarily rude to a house member? Yelled at the Tv? We're human, of course, and there are times when we all just lose it. But if it's the way we spend a majority of our time, if we walk around being offended all the time by every person and everything like we're the town of the universe, then we're setting an example for kids that is leading to bullying and worse. (In the time in the middle of writing this on paper and typing it today, a young man shot at a congresswoman in Arizona and in the process killed innocent bystanders and injured many more.)

Let's make a new habit, set a new resolution for 2011. If we all do our part and make even a small unavoidable change, it will begin to ripple throughout our society and give our kids a chance. It can be done. I saw it happen in a group high school where it started with one class and spread throughout the school and community.

Given a option in the middle of negativity, choose a kinder response instead. Go back to the Golden Rule of 'do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. Dr. Wayne Dyer who is often seen on Pbs with his wonderfully unavoidable programs says that we certainly get an growth of serotonin, the feel good hormone, every time we do a kindness for someone. We also get a boost to our immune system, not a bad thing for these winter months. The great news is that investigate shows that whoever receives the kindness gets the same advantage as well and....I love this part...anyone who witnesses that act. Talk about win-win!

Our kids are watching, listening, and mirroring what we do. I've heard several times that this is the first generation that doesn't expect life to be great than their parents. They're dealing with a world we created for them. But we can change the tone of our country if we each do our part. The astounding thing is that when teens are given the opportunity to do good, to see a unavoidable path in their lives, they embrace it. I've seen it happen over and over again. Don't we owe them that chance?

Let's make 2011 the starting of a great life for America's kids. Let's have a happy, healthy, bullying-free new year!

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