Sunday, September 9, 2012

critical Changes Impacting Parenting Over the Last 30 Years - 7 Ideas to Stay Sane and Centered

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Once upon a time in 1980 there was a 30-year-old woman, pregnant for the first time. So filled with blissful anticipation, this thought about mom-to-be set out to examine what would be best for her baby. She had no problem looking data on breast-feeding, sleeping straight through the night, introducing solids or the realities of cloth vs. Disposable diapers. But when she looked for what would be best for baby's brain development, she couldn't find whatever in the mainstream.

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I was that mom. With no Internet, my explore meant going back and forth to the university library, copying journal articles and distributing them to my women friends and colleagues at work ¬- waving them in their faces, saying, "Look at this! Can you believe it?"

I was stunned to find out, for instance, that the daily four hours U.S. Kids spend in front of a television prevented allowable growth of crucial neural circuitry, limiting their cognitive capacities for the rest of their lives. I was amazed to also examine that the verdict on Tv violence had been conclusive since 1976: violent images do lead to aggressive behaviors, fear and desensitization to real violence.

Over the years this explore gave me the back up to have the backbone to make course corrections as I parented two rambunctious sons. For example, colse to 1985 Mr. Rogers started appearing twice a day-in the morning and in the afternoon. As a singular working mother, I was so tempted to let my then 5- and 3-year-old boys visit the "neighborhood" both times. But I resisted. Their creative play was more leading for their budding brains, and a once-a-day visit with Mr. R was plenty.

In 1986 those "new fangled" videos meant I could admittedly play a full-length feature film in my own family room. Amazing! fantasize two whole hours to get work done colse to the house or just sit and stare into space with a cup of tea, uninterrupted. Luckily, the explore prevented me from over-dosing on these "new" inventions.

Back then my screen-machine temptations were nothing compared to what seduces parents in 2010: screens in Suvs; hand-held video games; videos for infants; video games for toddler, cell phones for kindergartners, numerous choices in children's programming, videos and Dvds; computers designed specifically for teens; video games in restaurants, malls, theaters and everywhere families gather. Downloads. Texting.

Consider a few statistics:

• According to Nielsen, more than 90 percent of U.S. Homes have televisions on an average of seven hours and 44 minutes each day.
• Children ages 2 - 12 average four to five hours of television viewing each day.
• By age 5, the average child enters kindergarten having watched at least 6,000 hours of Tv.
• Sixty-seven percent of U.S. Children under 12 have televisions in their bedrooms.
• By the time kids graduate from high school, they have spent twice as much time in front of television screens as they have spent in front of teachers in classrooms.

Six Modern-Day Challenges

Specifically, parents are up against six challenges unique to today's complicated screen-machine world.

1. Global conglomerates work on us on an unprecedented scale.

Over the years multi-national fellowships have increased their hold on our kids. Judith Rubin, writing in a up-to-date issue of Mothering, reminds us that "marketing professionals cross-reference, cross shop and cross-pollinate products and entertainment. By intentionally obscuring the distinctions between products, entertainment, school curricula and advertisements, marketers readily capitalize on young children's itsybitsy potential to differentiate between them."

In the past, media fellowships were not nearly as influential as they are today. Twenty-five years ago as many as 50 fellowships owned the majority of the media. By 2001, six fellowships owned and controlled global media production and dissemination.

2. Society standards are being eroded straight through the co-opting of group institutions.

We can no longer rely on the group structure colse to us to reiterate our values to our kids. In fact, one of our biggest challenges as parents today is that too many societal influences are corporate clones. Many group schools, for instance, beam Channel One into the classrooms. In doing so, these schools implicitly add their authority to the industrial ads for junk food and violent video games the kids see each day. Corporations seek what they can get from the people. What they give and how they give is all the time based on monetary profit.

3. Corporations shop specifically to children and their possible vulnerabilities with the intention of undermining parental authority and responsibility.

Corporations intentionally drive a wedge between the parent and child over a specified product. Parents who say, "No," and strive to set boundaries are seen as unintelligent and unfair. Today, the child's peer group may as well have an umbilical cord tied directly to global conglomerates, production them primary authorities in children's lives. Parents have to found warrior spirits to become the traditional authority for their own children!

4. Lack of relevant data and a pattern of disinformation keep parents in a state of confusion.

Corporations spend millions each day to guide our attentiveness in specific directions - often leaving out primary data leading to parents.

For example, most parents I meet are unaware that the American Academy of Pediatrics (Aap) recommends one hour or less a day of all screen time (including Tv, video games, videos and computers) for children ages 3 - 18 and no screen time for babies and toddlers, birth to age 2. In fact, some experts think the Aap's suggestion is not strong enough. Researchers Dr. Robert Hill and Dr. Eduardo Castro, writing in Getting Rid of Ritalin: How Neurofeedback Can Successfully Treat attentiveness Deficit Disorder without Drugs (Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 2002), advise no television before the age of 5. They emphasize, "We can say with reliance that inordinate television, particularly in young children, causes neurological damage. Tv watching causes the brain to slow down, producing a constant pattern of low-frequency brainwaves consistent with Add behavior." Sounds radical. Yet, their points are important. Young brains are more admittedly conditioned by and more likely to become addicted to screen machines.

5. A screen-machine culture turns mass attentiveness to sensational and mindless content, while downplaying and often deriding prognosis and other higher-level conception processes.

A mechanism inside the lower part of the human brain admittedly causes us to look at the distorted or the weird. That means it's easier to pay attentiveness to gratuitous violence, titillating sexuality and fast-paced activity than it is to Pbs, the History Channel, or the teacher in the classroom. When sensational forms of images predominate, selective attentiveness processes - that is the brain's potential to filter out extraneous data and decide what is admittedly leading - can't develop.

6. A screen-machine culture pushes a "machine-like" view of the world, treats people as objects and promotes a "quick fix" as the only way.

Sitcom characters solve dilemmas in less than 30 minutes. Commercials imply an end to malaise by purchasing a new car or the demise of depression with a new color of lipstick. Drug fellowships visually portray people having more joy in life with the intake of a pill. Constant images of quick fixes can work on our mental about what works best for kids. For example, variances in growth are tasteless in all living things. The surrounding culture, though, pushes parents to panic, worry and seek quick fixes if their children don't learn to read or write or count at the "right" time.

Addressing the Challenges Productively

Unfortunately, these challenges will be with as long as we live in a mass media culture. And they will probably get even more complicated as the digital revolution brings new forms of small screen technologies. As parents, though, we have lots of power to directly work on our children. In doing so, we indirectly change the Society we live in. mental children will make wise choices. Creative kids will enhance upon the current system when their turn comes.

The following seven guidelines don't add too much to our to-do list. Yet, they can profoundly work on who our children become.

Limit all screen time to five to seven hours weekly for children 18 and under.

Children who learn how to operate their screen time have time to found their personality and know themselves better than kids whose lives have become virtual. Plus, parenting kids who can operate their screen entertainment is a whole lot more fun. The challenges described above tend to dissolve when families spend more time with each other instead of with screen machines

Thinking of a weekly screen time funds works well for a lot of parents. That way there is less stress (and guilt!) when the kids zone out on occasion. The next day we can adjust with less or even no screen time. Using a weekly frame also helps youngsters understand the bigger photograph of how they spend their time.

Let our love guide us.

The physicist Humberto Maturano reminds us that "love is the only emotion that expands intelligence" (as quoted in Presence: Human Purpose and the Field of the hereafter by Peter Senge, et.al, The Society for Organizational Learning, 2003). Parental love is the constant that never changes over the years and that supports our wise choices. Our fierce love wants only the very best for our kids. Tapping into that love amid daily distractions catalyzes the vigor required to parent well in this crazy culture.

One efficient way it to examine what we love most about our children - their great questions, the way they treat their friends or care for their pets - whatever we know to be their unique gifts. production up a list of these can help. Then we can draw them out in daily conversations with our kids. This builds self-confidence and makes their self-respect blossom. A bonus is that when we share in this heart-energy with children, time seems to slow down and we sense a deep, truly sacred connection.

Choose relevant information.

Parental love can also lead to the relevant data that will have the most sustainable effects. One doesn't need a whole lot of information; rather one needs the right data that will make the leading differences. The books listed on the sidebar are a great place to start.

Clarify our parenting priorities.

Along with love and relevant information, I think getting very clear on our identity as parents can also be very helpful in navigating those six challenges. So often, the screen-machine world puts us in the position of speedily reacting, instead of thoughtfully responding, to situations. When we take quarterly intervals to explain our values - what we want for our kids and what's truly leading - we are much better prepared to guide children successfully straight through media minefields. A list of our parenting priorities on the refrigerator or family bulletin board directs children's attentiveness to what's truly in our hearts. How can they resist?

Copyright, Gloria DeGaetano, 2010. All possession Reserved.

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